Politicians, businesses, and religious figures often use absurd arguments to rationalize destructive policies and self-centered rhetoric. Do you really believe slaves had a better quality of life upon being transported to the Colonial American South? Do they seriously believe emitting unprecedented volumes of carbon dioxide gas will end up helping trees? I hope my sketches do not convince you that turtles can use our pollution to breathe. Or, maybe they can hide from their predators (like John Wayne in a pond, sucking on a hollow reed). How many absurd turtle arguments do you see in a week?