Turtles on a Postcard

Politicians, businesses, and religious figures often use absurd arguments to rationalize destructive policies and self-centered rhetoric. Do you really believe slaves had a better quality of life upon being transported to the Colonial American South? Do they seriously believe emitting unprecedented volumes of carbon dioxide gas will end up helping trees? I hope my sketches do not convince you that turtles can use our pollution to breathe. Or, maybe they can hide from their predators (like John Wayne in a pond, sucking on a hollow reed). How many absurd turtle arguments do you see in a week?

A Kind of Eulogy

Okay, Okay I will go tonight
Sit us all in the huge corner booth
By preference, away from your family
But I’m flexible, accommodating, for you.

Death. A death of a relative
Of course I will be there
Attend to you and your family
Because they all despair.

His kids, his kids ate pizzas three
I swear they need no more
Brother-in-law’s sudden last request,
And a box, to take it home.

The bill. The bill after so much food
He says “I’ve spent too much!
So I’ll leave the tip while you all pay”
Final words; he’ll never return.

All I Own

Nothing ever works out for me
and I don’t know why it should
Sister says I’m lazy
and Dad says I’m no good
I’m no good.

I earned diplomas for my wall
and an office all my own
Sister’s husband bought her a horse
and a nice suburban home
Suburban home.

Now we both are growing old
Sister’s husband hit the road
my office moved to Mexico
diplomas are all I own
All I own.